I Struck Out on 3 Craft Beers. He Cut Me Off, Ordered a Domestic, and Told Me to Stop Bothering the Staff.

We all learn from a young age that when you are a guest in someone’s home, you graciously accept what is offered. But what about when you’re a paying customer at a restaurant? The rules are a bit different; you expect to be able to order what is clearly printed on the menu.

However, one man recently shared a story online about a frustrating dining experience where the real problem wasn’t the restaurant, but the person sitting right next to him. It’s a tale that really makes you wonder about the state of modern manners.

The Incident

A gentleman, who we’ll call Mark, was enjoying a weekend trip to New York City with friends. As a beer enthusiast, he loves trying new and interesting brews whenever he travels. At one particular sit-down restaurant, he spotted two beers on the menu he’d never had before and was excited to try one.

He politely ordered the first beer, but the server had to check with the bar. She returned, apologetic, to say they no longer carried it. No problem at all, Mark thought, and kindly asked for the second unique beer on the menu. Again, the server went to check and returned empty-handed, explaining their menu was out of date. Mark, ever the good sport, made a lighthearted joke about his bad luck.

For his third attempt, he ordered a Yuengling, a very common beer in that part of the country that was also listed on the menu. To everyone’s surprise, the server had to check yet again, only to report that they were out of that, too.

Before Mark could even choose a fourth option, his friend at the table cut in and told the server, “he’ll have a Bud Lite.” Once the server was gone, the friend turned to Mark and scolded him. “Can you please not make her job any harder than it needs to be? She has other tables, you know.” Mark was so taken aback that he just apologized, leaving the rest of the dinner feeling awkward and uncomfortable.

The Internet Reacts

When Mark shared his story, the internet community was overwhelmingly on his side, with most of the anger directed not at the server or the restaurant, but at his impatient friend. The commenters quickly formed a few distinct groups.

First was the “Absolutely Not” Crowd, who were furious on Mark’s behalf. They couldn’t believe a friend would be so rude. One user summed it up perfectly, asking, “Does your friend think you freelance designing bad out-of-date menus?”

Another pointed out the sheer condescension of the friend’s actions, saying, “The point is, he ordered for you, like you were a child.” The consensus was clear: the friend, not Mark, was the one with poor manners.

Then came the “Server Supporters,” many of whom had experience in the restaurant industry. This group felt that while the friend was wrong, the server also could have handled the situation better. They argued that a good server should know what’s out of stock before their shift begins.

After the first failed attempt, she should have been proactive. “The waitress absolutely should have asked ‘what non regular beers DO we have available?'” one commenter wisely noted. Another former server added, “Part of the gig is checking what’s on-tap /available before you start taking tables so you don’t waste your time/the customer’s time.”

Finally, there were the “Practical Advice Givers.” This group didn’t excuse the friend’s behavior but offered helpful tips for similar situations in the future. One commenter shared their own strategy: “Often what we’ll do is if the server says, ‘I have to check’ we’ll respond with ‘ok, if you don’t have it, I’ll take x instead.’ It just cuts down on the back and forth.” It’s a sensible approach that shows consideration for everyone’s time without sacrificing your own preferences.

The Etiquette Verdict

Let’s be perfectly clear: it is never, ever rude to politely order something that is listed on a menu. The responsibility for an up-to-date menu falls on the establishment’s management, not the customer. Mark did absolutely nothing wrong. He was polite, patient, and understanding throughout the entire ordeal.

The true etiquette failure belongs to his friend. To publicly scold a companion and then order for them as if they are incapable is deeply disrespectful. True friendship and good manners dictate that you handle disagreements privately and treat those you care about with dignity, especially in a public setting.

Your Thoughts

It’s a situation that leaves a sour taste. What do you think? Was the friend right to be concerned for the server, or was his public scolding completely out of line?

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