Brother’s New Girlfriend Demanded a ‘Dry Christmas’ for 50 Guests. The Host Said No.

A Reddit user shared a family conflict that arose around their large, multicultural Christmas gatherings. The host and their wife, whose family celebrates with traditional Mexican customs, host over 50 people during Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at their home.

The issue arose when the host’s brother began dating a woman who has children with strict rules that they cannot be around people who drink alcohol. This led to demands to ban alcohol at the Christmas celebrations.

Additionally, the brother’s girlfriend wanted the children to celebrate using traditions like Santa Claus and Elf on the Shelf, which contrast with the host’s family’s customs rooted in Mexican Catholicism.

The story

The host’s Christmas tradition includes a festive, bustling house where family members come in and out over two days. The celebrations combine cultures, with Mexican traditions featuring tequila and tamales and a large mix of family members.

The brother’s new partner, Jenny, wants to bring her three children but insists her children cannot be around alcohol. She also favors traditional Santa Claus celebrations, unlike the host’s household where Santa and Elf on the Shelf are not part of their customs due to cultural differences.

Jenny’s restrictions prompted the brother to ask the host to ban alcohol for the entire Christmas gathering, supported by their mother, who is concerned about many people being around children.

The host refused, stating that their children enjoy the lively environment with many family members, including alcohol. The host suggested that Jenny and her children might be better off staying home if they cannot accept the family’s traditions.

The host proposed that, possibly next year, the mother or brother could host a separate event tailored to Jenny’s preferences, but they would not change their established celebrations.

Community comments on Reddit have since discussed the fairness and cultural complexity of the situation.

The reactions

Many commenters sided with the host, emphasizing that it is the host’s house and their celebration to run as they see fit. They argued it is unreasonable for Jenny to demand that everyone stop drinking alcohol to accommodate her children’s rules.

One commenter wrote, “You are not excluding her, she is excluding herself. Don’t feel bad for people like that.” Another added, “It is not a guest’s prerogative to dictate what a host does or does not serve when hosting an event. Period.”

Several users highlighted the cultural blend in the host’s family and suggested some opposition might stem from discomfort with the lively Mexican traditions. A user noted, “Your mom’s issue is with Mexicans not tequila.”

Others felt the differences in children’s holiday traditions, such as belief in Santa or participating in Elf on the Shelf, could make the gathering complicated and that expecting the host’s children to comply was unfair.

There were also views that Jenny’s conditions were tinged with entitlement and that she and her children could host their own alcohol-free and Santa-themed celebration if they wish.

Some commented on the practicality of children learning to deal with different family customs rather than expecting all families to conform to one way.

Another perspective acknowledged that Jenny’s feelings might be sincere but that the host’s refusal to change the household customs was justified. A commenter wrote, “If Jenny’s children aren’t allowed to be around people who drink alcohol, she can easily solve the problem by not coming to your house for Christmas.”

Overall, commenters encouraged the host to maintain their traditions and not feel pressured to alter long-standing family customs due to the new family member’s demands.

The takeaway

This family dispute highlights the challenges that come with blending cultural traditions and accommodating new family members with different values and boundaries. The core issues revolve around alcohol consumption, children’s exposure to it, and differing holiday customs like the role of Santa Claus.

The host’s firm stance reflects common sentiment that hosts are entitled to celebrate their own way, especially in their own home. The suggestion for the brother and Jenny to host alternative celebrations respects both parties maintaining their boundaries.

The tension also hints at underlying cultural discomfort between family branches, as suggested by comments about reactions to Mexican festive traditions. Such cultural clashes can complicate family relationships during holidays.

While the host sympathizes with Jenny feeling unwelcome, the consensus is that responsibility lies with guests to adapt or choose not to attend, rather than demanding comprehensive changes.

There is limited information about Jenny’s own views, as the conflict appears framed primarily by the brother’s communications with the host. This limits full understanding of her perspective.

In the end, the situation underscores the importance of clear communication, respect for differing traditions, and the difficulty of integrating distinct family cultures around major celebrations like Christmas. What do you think?

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