My MIL Smuggles BBQ Sauce in Her Purse to Drown Posh Restaurant Meals. Now She’s Banned from Mother’s Day.

We all learn from a young age that good table manners are about more than just which fork to use. They are about respect—for your host, for the chef, and for your fellow diners. The goal is to make everyone at the table feel comfortable and enjoy their meal.

However, one woman recently took to the internet to share a story that proves not everyone follows these simple rules, sparking a fierce debate about personal taste versus public courtesy.

The Incident

A woman, let’s call her Jane, found herself in a rather sticky situation with her mother-in-law. For as long as she can remember, Jane has had a strong physical aversion to the smell of certain condiments. “I can’t stand the smell of ketchup, barbecue sauce and particularly brown sauce,” she explained. “Greasy spoons and fry ups make me physically wretch.”

This was never an issue until about two years ago, when her mother-in-law suddenly developed an obsession with these very sauces. It wasn’t just a dollop on the side of her plate; she began to completely drown every single meal in either HP or barbecue sauce. A lovely Sunday roast? Drowned. A special Christmas dinner? Drowned. It got so bad that the smell would ruin Jane’s appetite, making it impossible for her to eat.

The habit wasn’t just confined to their home. The mother-in-law began bringing her own bottles of sauce to restaurants—even “posh” ones. Imagine the scene: a beautiful Italian pasta or a fragrant Indian curry, suddenly covered in a layer of brown sauce. Jane was mortified. When she tried hiding the sauce at home, her mother-in-law simply produced her own bottle from her handbag.

Finally, Jane and her husband confronted her. “I said the smell is off putting. My husband told her it’s rude,” Jane wrote. The response was not one of understanding or compromise. Instead, her mother-in-law got angry and shot back, “well I like it.” The final straw came with Mother’s Day approaching. Jane decided to take her own mother out for a nice meal but pointedly did not invite her mother-in-law, fed up with the offensive smell and what she felt was disrespectful behavior.

The Internet Reacts

When Jane asked if she was being unreasonable, the internet was completely divided, with the poll results split nearly 50/50. The comments section exploded with opinions, which quickly fell into a few distinct camps.

First was the “Absolutely Not” crowd, who were appalled on Jane’s behalf. They felt the mother-in-law’s behavior was childish and deeply disrespectful. One commenter sided with Jane completely, saying, “I’d be really embarrassed to eat out with someone who puts ketchup or HP on all foods like a child… it’s insulting to the chef.”

Another agreed, stating, “There’s also no obligation to go to a nice restaurant with people who won’t appreciate it and spoil the experience for everybody.” For this group, it was a clear case of terrible manners.

Then came the “Devil’s Advocate” camp, who argued that everyone has a right to eat their food how they like it. “It’s entirely up to her how she chooses to season her food!” one person declared. “You can’t expect others not to enjoy their food the way they like it because of your delicate sensibilities.” Others offered potential explanations for the sudden change in habit. Several people wondered if she had lost her sense of taste or smell after an illness like COVID.

But one user offered a more mischievous theory, asking, “When did she find out that you ‘can’t stand the smell’… By any chance, was it around two years ago?” suggesting the behavior might be deliberately provocative.

Finally, there was the “Just Don’t Go” crowd. These commenters offered practical, if blunt, advice. They agreed that while Jane couldn’t control her mother-in-law, she could control her own environment. “Do not go to restaurants with her. That is what I would do,” one person stated simply.

Another offered a perfect solution for family harmony: “Enjoy your meal with your mum. If it becomes a problem, then suggest DH [Darling Husband] takes his mum out.” This camp believed the simplest way to solve the problem was to stop putting herself in it.

The Etiquette Verdict

Here’s my take. While everyone is entitled to their own tastes, etiquette exists to ensure we can all coexist peacefully. Bringing your own condiments to a fine-dining restaurant is, frankly, a major social blunder. It signals to the chef and the establishment that their carefully crafted food isn’t good enough. To do the same to a host who has spent hours preparing a special meal for you is just plain insulting.

The mother-in-law’s defiant “well I like it” when her behavior was pointed out as rude and off-putting is the real issue here. Good manners are about consideration for others. When your personal habit makes someone at the table physically unable to eat, the polite thing to do is show a little compassion, not dig your heels in. In this case, the mother-in-law’s table manners have soured more than just the food.

Your Thoughts

So, where do you stand on this saucy subject? Is the mother-in-law’s condiment habit a personal choice that should be respected, or is it a major breach of dining etiquette?