My Coworkers Called Indian Food Unhygienic, Then Got Upset When I Brought Chow Mein To Their Potluck

We all know the cardinal rule of a potluck: you bring a dish to share, and you graciously accept what others have brought. It’s a simple, lovely tradition based on community and sharing. You certainly don’t get to place an order.

However, one young woman recently shared a story on the internet that shows just how quickly things can turn sour when basic manners are thrown out the window. Her tale of workplace drama spilling over into a social gathering is enough to make you shake your head in disbelief.

The Incident

The story comes from a 27-year-old woman who recently moved to the U.S. from India for her master’s degree. At her new part-time job, she was immediately met with some rather backward comments about her culture. Her colleagues, after watching videos on TikTok, made remarks about Indian food being “unhygienic.”

One even recounted her brother’s “terrible experiences” with food in India and declared she would “not eat Indian food ever.” The hostility became personal when a coworker saw her eating roti and sabzi with her hands and passive-aggressively placed a spoon on her table. Can you imagine the nerve?

So when her manager’s wife invited the team to a potluck, the young woman decided to play it safe. She thoughtfully made chow mein, a dish she knew her colleagues enjoyed. But at the end of the party, one coworker piped up, saying she “expected” that she would bring Indian food.

When others agreed, the woman, understandably frustrated, replied, “I wasn’t sure everyone would enjoy it here since I know for certain that some don’t like Indian food and are not open to trying it.” The fallout was immediate. Her manager later told her the comment made his wife feel bad, and another colleague told her to “get over what happened” or she would “ruin the atmosphere for everyone again.” Just unbelievable.

The Internet Reacts

As you can imagine, when this story hit the internet, people had plenty to say about this stunning lack of courtesy. The reactions fell into a few distinct camps.

First, there was the “Absolutely Not” Crowd, who were simply furious on the young woman’s behalf. They couldn’t believe the entitlement of her colleagues. One commenter put it perfectly: “Yeah it’s potluck not potdemand.”

Another pointed out the deeper issue, stating, “They EXPECTED Indian food from OP because OP is Indian… The racism has not stopped.” The consensus here was clear: the colleagues were rude from the start, and their behavior at the party was just a continuation of their poor treatment of her. As one person said, “Those people should be ashamed.”

Then there were those who played “Devil’s Advocate,” not to excuse the colleagues, but to try and understand the hostess’s reaction. The manager’s wife, they reasoned, was likely embarrassed by the tension at her party. One person speculated, “The wife likely did not have know there had been some food related drama.”

Another offered a similar take, saying it sounded like the wife was simply “upset that there was some social discord/unhappiness at her event” and felt awkward when office drama was brought up in her home. While a fair point about a hostess’s feelings, it certainly doesn’t let the rude colleagues off the hook.

Finally, we had the “Petty Revenge” Crowd, who had some choice ideas for how they would have handled it. While most agreed the woman’s comeback was perfect, one commenter had a brilliant suggestion for future encounters. Referencing the coworker who passive-aggressively left a spoon for her, they wrote, “if I were in her place, I would wait until those people were eating pizza, burgers or subs, and then put a spoon in front of them.” Oh, to be a fly on the wall for that! It just goes to show that while our letter-writer took the high road, many of us would have been tempted to serve a little justice of our own.

The Etiquette Verdict

Let me be perfectly clear: this young woman did absolutely nothing wrong. She was subjected to ignorant and insulting behavior at work, and when she tried to be considerate at a social event, she was cornered and then blamed for the resulting awkwardness.

The audacity of her colleagues to first insult her culture’s cuisine and then demand she cook it for them is astounding. And for her manager to scold her for making his wife “feel bad” instead of addressing his employees’ initial prejudice is simply appalling. The Golden Rule of potlucks is to be a gracious guest. You don’t dictate the menu.

Your Thoughts

This whole situation is a masterclass in what not to do. But it leaves me wondering what you would have done in her shoes. Should the woman have spoken her mind at the party, or was it better to stay silent to avoid causing a scene?