Kids ‘Loved Trying New Foods’ After Years of Veganism. She Accused Me of Forcing the Diet.
We all know that when you share children with an ex-partner, compromise is the name of the game. You learn to navigate different rules, different households, and different points of view, all for the sake of the children. It’s a delicate dance of respect and communication.
However, one father recently shared a story online that asks a very difficult question: What happens when one parent’s deeply held beliefs clash directly with a doctor’s medical advice for your children? His predicament over his sons’ health has started a serious conversation about where to draw the line.
The Incident
A 31-year-old father of three boys, ages 11, 9, and 7, found himself in a terrible spot. His ex-partner, “Venus,” was raised vegan and had insisted the entire family follow the same strict diet. Even after their breakup, the father mostly stuck with it out of habit, but he never felt quite right.
After years of feeling unwell and spending a fortune on supplements, he decided to reintroduce meat into his own diet. The change was remarkable. He wrote, “I’ve felt so much better… and my food bill dropped.” This personal success story soon turned into parental concern. He noticed his sons were all very small for their age, falling in the 5th to 15th percentile for height and weight.
Worried, he took them to their family doctor. The GP confirmed his fears might be valid and recommended introducing meat and animal products to see if it would help their growth. Following professional medical advice, the father began slowly offering his sons things like milk and eggs during his time with them. He gave them the choice, and he said they “loved trying new foods.”
When he told his ex-wife, her reaction was anything but understanding. She was “furious,” accusing him of being “vindictive.” She threatened to take him back to court to get full custody and even told him he had “no right in going to the GP without her.” Most shockingly, she began telling their sons to refuse the food and lie, saying their father was forcing them.
The Internet Reacts
The online community was immediately drawn into the debate, with opinions falling into a few distinct camps.
Camp 1: The “Absolutely Not” Crowd
The vast majority of people were firmly in the father’s corner, appalled by the mother’s behavior. They argued that a doctor’s recommendation for a child’s health should always take precedence over a parent’s lifestyle choice. One commenter put it bluntly: “She’s off her rocker if she thinks a judge will grant her full custody to feed her underweight children a vegan diet against the advice of their pediatrician.”
Another user pointed out that this might be about more than just food, suggesting that “Veganism is sometimes used as a manipulation or alienation tool against the other parent.” This resonated with many who felt the mother’s actions were about control, not the children’s well-being.
Camp 2: The “Devil’s Advocate”
A smaller but vocal group felt the father wasn’t entirely blameless, focusing on his lack of communication. While they didn’t necessarily disagree with his decision, they took issue with how he went about it. “YTA for doing all this -without talking to her,” one person wrote, arguing that he should have included her in the conversation from the very beginning.
This group felt that by taking the boys to the doctor and changing their diet without a prior discussion, he created unnecessary conflict. Another commenter agreed, saying, “Who takes their kids to the doctor and changes their diet without discussing it with the other parent first?!… The communication was non existent which is an AH move.”
Camp 3: The “Get Prepared” Crowd
This practical-minded group skipped the blame game and went straight to offering advice. Seeing the mother’s threats of a custody battle, they urged the father to protect himself and his children. “I’d recommend getting medical documentation for the inevitable custody battle that’s coming your way,” one person wisely advised.
Another user offered a detailed plan of action: “Keep the receipts! Track their diet and their growth. Get bloodwork done… Keep track of their energy levels and how they’re feeling.” This camp saw the mother’s reaction as a serious red flag and wanted the father to be ready for what might come next.
The Etiquette Verdict
While co-parenting certainly requires open communication, this situation goes far beyond a simple disagreement over dinner. When a qualified medical professional expresses concern about a child’s growth and recommends a specific course of action, that advice must be taken seriously. A parent’s personal ideology should never stand in the way of their child’s physical health and development.
The mother’s reaction—the accusations, the legal threats, and especially the attempt to manipulate her children into lying—is where this crosses a serious line. The golden rule of parenting is to always put your children’s needs first. In this case, the father did just that by following his doctor’s orders.
What Do You Think?
This is a tough situation with a lot of emotion involved. We want to know where you stand. Did this father do the right thing by following the doctor’s orders, or should he have respected his ex’s wishes and kept the children on a vegan diet?
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