She Uses Dates to Try Expensive Restaurants for Free. I Warned Him Not to Buy Her Dinner.

There are certain unspoken rules when it comes to dating, aren’t there? The main one, of course, is that both people should be there with an open heart, genuinely hoping to get to know one another. Treating someone with respect and honesty is simply the baseline of good manners.

However, one man recently shared a story online that proves some people view a first date not as a connection, but as a transaction—and a one-sided one at that.

The Incident

The story comes from a gentleman whose young coworker, a woman named Lydia, has a rather distasteful “annoying habit.” She proudly admits to using dating apps to find men who will take her to expensive restaurants she wants to try. After enjoying a free meal on their dime, she simply ghosts them, never intending to see them again. She brags about this at the office, calling it a “life hack” to eat food she couldn’t otherwise afford.

As you can imagine, her coworker found this behavior appalling, seeing it as “playing with people’s hearts.” The situation came to a head when his dear friend, Daniel, matched with Lydia online. Daniel is a recent widower just starting to date again, and his friend described him as a “very sweet guy.” Wanting to protect him, the coworker warned Daniel about Lydia’s scheme.

Daniel decided to go on the date anyway, but with a plan: he would ask for separate checks. The next Monday at work, Lydia was furious. She had guided Daniel to a high-end steakhouse where she “ended up splurging” on a drink, a full entree, a side, and dessert. Her bill came to over seventy dollars. She was “almost in tears” because she had to pay for it herself and now wouldn’t have enough money for gas.

When she confronted her coworker for ruining her free meal, he was upset that she had tried to use his grieving friend as a “literal meal ticket.” But some of their other colleagues thought he should have stayed out of it, claiming it was none of his business.

The Internet Reacts

When this story hit the internet, people had plenty to say, and very few were on Lydia’s side. The debate quickly split into a few clear camps.

First was the “Absolutely Not” crowd, who were utterly appalled by Lydia’s behavior. They felt she got exactly what she deserved. One commenter put it plainly: “If she can’t afford her food, then she shouldn’t go to the restaurant.”

Another pointed out the obvious, stating, “Men are not meal tickets. She’s hurting people by just using them for food.” Many saw her actions as a cruel game, with one person calling her a “con artist” running a “romance scam” that often targets vulnerable people like widowers.

Then there was the small group of coworkers who felt the man should have minded his own business. This “Stay Out of It” camp believed that interfering was wrong, regardless of Lydia’s intentions. However, online commenters quickly shut that down. One user passionately defended the man’s actions, writing, “That’s your friend! Of course it’s your business! Protecting your friends from getting hurt is what you’re supposed to do!” It seems most people agree that friendship and decency trump staying silent.

Finally, there was the “Clever Comeuppance” crowd, who admired how Daniel handled the situation. They saw his simple request for separate checks as the perfect, understated way to teach Lydia a lesson. One user commented that they were surprised this didn’t happen to her more often, noting, “If I were taking someone to dinner on a date and saw them splurge at the expensive end of the menu I’d call for separate bills at the end of the evening just to gauge the reaction.” Another called Daniel’s move “fair play” and “my kind of petty.”

The Etiquette Verdict

Honestly, it’s shocking that anyone would need to be told this, but using another person for a free meal is not a “life hack.” It’s deceitful, unkind, and frankly, just plain tacky. Dating is built on a foundation of mutual respect. To enter into it with the sole intention of exploiting someone’s generosity is a violation of that trust.

The golden rule of modern dating etiquette is simple: always go on a date prepared to pay your own way. Expecting a free ride, especially while ordering the most expensive items on the menu, is the height of bad manners.

What Do You Think?

Was this man right to warn his grieving friend about his coworker’s scheme, or should he have stayed out of it and let his friend figure it out on his own?

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