She Eats Sour Cream But Demands a Vegan Christmas: Host Fumes at ‘Hypocritical’ Mother-in-Law
We all know the unwritten laws of holiday hosting. When you invite someone into your home, you do your absolute best to make them comfortable. If Aunt Susan has a nut allergy, the pecans stay in the cupboard. If a dear friend is gluten-free, we skip the breadcrumbs in the stuffing.
It is simply good manners to ensure no one goes hungry. However, there is a very fine line between being a gracious host and being taken advantage of. One woman recently took to the internet to share a holiday dilemma that proves some guests really do expect the world on a silver platter—even when they don’t follow their own rules.
The Incident
The story comes to us from a frantic hostess posting under the handle **Veganornotvegan** on a popular online forum. She explained that her mother-in-law recently announced she is now vegan. “Great. Love that for her,” the poster started, trying to be a supportive daughter-in-law. But the demand that followed was anything but simple.
The woman is currently preparing to host a massive dinner party for 18 people—specifically 14 adults and 4 children. Anyone who has cooked for a crowd that size knows it is a military operation. Despite the workload, the mother-in-law requested that the host cater a fully vegan version of the meal just for her.
We aren’t just talking about a nut roast; the mother-in-law demanded “no duck fat potatoes, no honey roast parsnips, no meat dripping gravy.” She essentially wants a parallel menu cooked from scratch.
Here is the rub, though: the mother-in-law isn’t actually strict about her diet. The poster revealed two shocking examples of her mother-in-law’s dietary hypocrisy. When the family recently went out for chili, the mother-in-law ordered the vegan option but added dairy sour cream “to make it less spicy.”
On another occasion, she ate a vegan roast but paired it with normal Yorkshire puddings simply because “there’s no vegan alternative.”
The audacity is truly breathtaking. She expects the hostess to scrub the kitchen of animal products and cook separate vegetables in separate pans, yet she happily dips into the dairy whenever she feels like it. The hostess asked the internet: “Am I being unreasonable if I said no / she needs to bring her own?”
The Internet Reacts
The internet, as you can imagine, had plenty to say. The community was largely on the host’s side, with 76% voting that she was not being unreasonable to refuse these demands. The comments generally fell into three distinct camps.
The “Absolutely Not” Crowd
Many women felt the mother-in-law was being ridiculous and rude. User **PullTheBricksDown** didn’t mince words, suggesting the host simply “Buy her an M&S vegan ready meal.” Another user, **Tagyoureit**, agreed, noting that since the guest breaks her own rules, the host shouldn’t stress: “Get her a microwave meal.”
User **angustifolia** summed up the frustration perfectly: “An invitation to our Christmas celebration doesn’t mean I’ll cater to my guests’ every whim. Sorry!”
The “Kill Them With Kindness” Crowd
Some users suggested a form of polite malicious compliance. **NellieElephantine** offered a hilarious solution regarding the ready meal approach: “Give her this, some tinned potatoes and carrots on the side! No drama, no fanfare, just a sweet and loving serving.”
It is the perfect way to be technically polite while making a point that you are not a short-order cook.
The “Be The Bigger Person” Crowd
Surprisingly, a few voices urged compassion. User **DEAROP** offered a perspective that actually swayed the original poster. They wrote, “I’m not the vegan police… I’d still cook a low fat meal for a dieting friend who I know ‘cheats’ all the time.”
The argument was that as a host, it isn’t your job to “appraise their success” in their lifestyle, but simply to feed them. The original poster admitted this was a “great response,” proving she has more patience than most of us!
The Etiquette Verdict
So, where do we stand on this? In polite society, a dietary restriction for health or deep ethical reasons must always be respected. If a guest has an allergy, you protect them. However, etiquette is a two-way street. It is incredibly rude for a guest to demand a stressed host cook a separate menu—removing traditional ingredients like duck fat and honey—for a diet they don’t even strictly adhere to themselves.
The Golden Rule of hosting is to make guests feel welcome, but the Golden Rule of guesting is do not be a burden. If you are a “part-time” vegan who eats Yorkshire puddings, you should graciously eat the vegetables provided and offer to bring your own main dish, rather than demanding the hostess work double-time.
Call to Action
What would you do if you were in the kitchen? Would you cook the separate meal to keep the peace, or hand her a microwave dinner and a smile?
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