My Husband Went Vegan, Then Expected Me To Change Dinner For Our Four Picky Kids

We all know that marriage is about partnership and compromise, especially when it comes to the daily grind of running a household. You give a little, they give a little, and you meet in the middle.

However, one woman recently took to the internet to share a story that proves some partners expect a whole lot more than just meeting in the middle—they expect a complete overhaul of family life to suit their latest whim.

The Incident

The storyteller is a stay-at-home mother to four children, ages four to eleven. She recently left her job to care for them full-time after her husband received a promotion. Even with the new income, the family of six is on a tight budget, which means she cooks nearly every meal at home. She has a system down, with tried-and-true recipes that her picky eaters will actually consume without a fuss.

About a year ago, her husband decided to become a vegetarian. This was a manageable change; she simply served him a meatless portion of whatever the family was having. But recently, he announced he was going on a new “journey” and wanted to become a full-fledged vegan, inspired by people he follows online.

This mother knew it was a step too far. With four picky kids and a strict budget, she explained that she couldn’t create a separate vegan menu just for him, nor could she force a new diet on the rest of the family. Her signature dish, she noted, is a hearty lasagna “with beef and cheese up the wahoo.”

His reaction was anything but understanding. He blew up at her, calling her unsupportive and accusing her of “blindly supporting the meat industry.” Then he delivered the lowest blow of all, asking, “what’s the point of him working so much so I can stay home if I can’t even do this for him?” It was a shocking and deeply unfair thing to say to the mother of his four children.

The Internet Reacts

Online commenters were quick to jump into the debate, and they had very strong feelings about the husband’s behavior. Most people fell into one of three camps.

First, there was the “Absolutely Not” crowd, who were furious on the wife’s behalf. They saw the husband’s demand as selfish and his comments as disrespectful. One person put it perfectly: “You didn’t give up working outside of the home to be a stay at home mom to 4 young children to become a short order cook.”

Another pointed out the sheer entitlement, stating he’s not some “old-timey Alpha Patriarch the whole family revolves around.” Many commenters, including working fathers, chimed in to say that being a stay-at-home parent to four young children is far more demanding than any nine-to-five job.

Then came the “Devil’s Advocate” camp. These folks felt both sides were a little bit wrong. They argued that the wife could have been more open to compromise. One person asked, “but is it really that much of a burden to try out, I don’t know, one vegan recipe a week?”

Others pointed out that many vegan ingredients, like beans and rice, are inexpensive. However, this camp was quickly reminded by others that this woman is cooking for six people, including four fussy children, and that a “simple” change for one person creates a mountain of extra work for the family’s primary caregiver.

Finally, there was the “Petty Revenge” crowd, who had some rather creative solutions. Their advice was simple and a little bit mischievous. One user summed up this approach with a laugh: “There’s a simple solution though. Just cook a few really sh.tty vegan meals for him. I don’t expect that to be very difficult. The glitch will fix itself.” It seems many felt that if he wanted special meals, he should be careful what he wished for!

The Etiquette Verdict

Let’s be perfectly clear: choosing a new diet is a personal decision, and with that choice comes personal responsibility. It is not your spouse’s job to become your private chef, especially when she is already managing the immense workload of a large family on a budget. To demand such a service and then use your financial contributions as a weapon is a staggering breach of marital etiquette. A partnership is built on mutual respect for each other’s contributions, whether they come with a paycheck or not. This husband owes his wife a serious apology.

Your Thoughts

What do you think about this situation? Should the wife have made more of an effort to cook vegan meals, or was her husband completely out of line with his demands?