My Husband and Fussy Kids Claim They ‘Don’t Mind’ What’s For Dinner. So I’m Serving Toast Every Night.
We all know that a family is supposed to be a team. From taking out the bins to walking the dog, the daily chores that keep a home running smoothly work best when everyone pitches in. It’s a simple matter of fairness and respect.
However, one woman recently shared a story online that proves this fundamental rule is often forgotten, especially when it comes to one relentless, draining, daily question: “What’s for dinner?” Her tale of frustration has struck a chord with thousands who feel exactly the same way.
The Incident
Writing on a popular internet forum, a woman we’ll call MellowPinkDeer shared her daily struggle. She declared that, “By far, the worst bit of being an adult is decided what’s for dinner.” Every day, she faces the same maddening routine. When she asks her children for their input, they reply with a vague, “I don’t mind,” despite being, in her words, “pretty fussy.” When she turns to her husband, he claims he “isn’t bothered.”
Her frustration is palpable. As she rightly points out, “of course SOMEONE has to be bothered or no one is eating anything??” The constant mental gymnastics of planning, shopping for, and preparing meals for a family that offers zero input has left her completely fed up. She feels the responses are nothing more than “purely laziness” and has been pushed to her breaking point, even asking if she should just start serving up toast every single night.
It’s not the cooking itself that’s the problem, a sentiment echoed by many. It’s the thinking, the planning, the endless responsibility of being the sole person who has to care about what the family eats. It’s an invisible weight that, day after day, becomes incredibly heavy to carry alone.
The Internet Reacts
It turns out this woman is far from alone in her dinner-time despair. The internet responded with a resounding chorus of agreement, with an online poll showing that 96% of people felt she was not being unreasonable. The reactions quickly fell into a few distinct camps.
First came the Sympathizers, who knew her pain all too well. “Amen to that, it drives me mad,” one woman wrote. Another confessed, “It’s the worst part of being an adult that no one warned me about. I feel like I’ll be thinking up what we have for Dinner until my last breath!” The feeling of being the family’s default planner resonated deeply, with one commenter noting the “absolute bliss” of being on holiday where everyone gets their own food from a buffet and she doesn’t have to think about it at all.
Next were the Practical Planners, who offered a wealth of clever solutions to combat the daily indecision. Their advice was clear: take the thinking out of the weekday. Suggestions poured in, from sitting down as a family on a Sunday to plan the week ahead to creating a multi-week menu to avoid repetition.
Many recommended creating a master list of approved meals. One user even shared her creative idea of a shoebox full of meal ideas on slips of paper, where seven are drawn out each week. Another made a “card game” for her family to “play” to decide the menu. These women had turned a frustrating problem into an organized system.
Finally, there was the “Enough is Enough” Crowd. These commenters were done with being diplomatic and suggested a much firmer approach. “Cook what you want and if they don’t like it, they can have toast,” one declared.
Another advised a wonderfully cheeky response to complaints: serve cereal and, when they protest, simply say, “I thought you didn’t mind.” My personal favorite came from a user who enforces a strict rule in her home: “Any complaints means they make dinner next day.” Now that’s what I call teaching a valuable lesson!
The Etiquette Verdict
Let’s be perfectly clear: repeatedly answering “I don’t mind” when asked for your input on a shared meal is not polite. It is a passive way of shirking responsibility and placing the entire mental load onto one person. It says, “You do the work of thinking, planning, and worrying, and I will simply show up to approve or disapprove of your efforts.” It is fundamentally unfair. In a partnership and a family, contributing an idea—any idea—is a small act of respect. It shows you value the other person’s time and energy. You are a team, after all.
Your Thoughts
What do you think about this dinner-time dilemma? Is saying “I’m not bothered” a harmless response, or is it a subtle sign of disrespect for the person who always has to be bothered?
