Sister-in-Law Demanded a ‘Kids Menu Only’ Rule for All Cousins—Here’s How One Mom Shut It Down

An online discussion erupted after a mother shared a family lunch experience where she allowed her children to order from the adult menu rather than the designated kids meals.

The event involved the mother, her sister-in-law (SIL), and their children during a birthday lunch for the mother-in-law.

The controversy centered on the SIL’s insistence that all the children should have the same kids menu meals, which led to tensions filled with questions about parenting and etiquette.

The story

The family gathered at a restaurant for the birthday lunch of the mother-in-law.

When the waiter arrived to take orders, the sister-in-law declared that all the kids would be ordered kids meals, specifically chicken tenders, fries, and juice.

The mother’s two children, a 9-year-old and a 4-year-old, generally eat adult portions. The mother decided to order full adult meals for her children, feeling that the kids meals would not satisfy them.

The SIL was upset about this decision, saying the mother embarrassed her and caused confusion among her own children, as they were told they would all be having the same kids meals.

Many of the mother’s children’s meals were too large for them to finish, and leftovers were taken home and eaten later.

The mother insisted that since she was paying for her children’s meals, she had the right to order what was best for them.

The reactions

Online commenters overwhelmingly sided with the mother, stating it was her right to choose meals for her children, especially since she was paying for the food.

Many suggested that kids meals often have smaller portions and less variety, which might not suit all children’s appetites or tastes.

One commenter explained, “A kid can eat until they are full and then stop when we let them develop that skill without pushing more or less.”

Others discussed that kids sometimes prefer healthier or more complex foods not offered on the kids menu, like salads or sushi.

Some commenters felt the sister-in-law’s insistence was controlling and possibly motivated by trying to avoid her own children appearing different or wanting more food.

It was noted that the sister-in-law might have been trying to make her kids conform to a simpler meal to prevent complaints.

Another commenter wrote, “Anyone ordering for other people is automatically TA,” emphasizing that no one has the right to decide meals for others’ children.

Some readers expressed surprise at the 4-year-old’s appetite, calling the portion size unusual but still agreed with the right to order as needed.

There were also reflections on family dynamics where such control extends beyond food into other areas, causing longstanding conflicts.

One commenter recalled, “My former MIL tried to make me copy her order… She snapped, ‘You always want your own way!’” illustrating similar controlling behavior in family dinners.

The takeaway

This discussion highlights a common parenting issue: balancing children’s food preferences and needs with social settings and family dynamics.

The mother’s decision was based on knowledge of her children’s appetites and preferences, which differed from the sister-in-law’s expectations.

Many agreed that ordering adult meals for children can be reasonable, especially when there are leftovers and parents pay for their own children’s meals.

Enforcing uniformity among children’s orders without parental consent can lead to discomfort and tension, as seen in this case.

The reactions reflect broader themes about respect for parenting choices and boundaries concerning others’ children.

It is clear from the discussion that the sister-in-law’s attempt to dictate what all the children would eat was seen as overstepping by the community.

Some questioned the reasonableness of a 4-year-old eating an adult portion, but this did not outweigh the mother’s authority over her own children’s meals.

Overall, the mother was viewed as exercising reasonable parental discretion against an unnecessary imposition from the sister-in-law. What do you think?

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