I Was Making Two Turkeys For Thanksgiving, But My In-Laws Suddenly Wanted Me To Cater The Whole Meal

We all know the rule of a potluck: many hands make light work. It’s a wonderful tradition where everyone contributes a little so that no one, especially the host, has to do a lot. But what happens when the spirit of sharing is forgotten, and the burden falls squarely on one person’s shoulders? A man recently shared a story online about a Thanksgiving potluck that put his generosity—and his patience—to the ultimate test.

The Incident

This gentleman, who does most of the cooking in his marriage, graciously agreed to prepare not one, but two turkeys for his in-laws’ Thanksgiving potluck, a gathering of about 30 people. He had bought the ingredients and was all set for the big day. But then, the day before the holiday, a call came from his mother-in-law with a shocking last-minute request.

Several other guests had suddenly announced they “couldn’t cook their promised dishes,” and she presented him with a new list: a pot roast, a potato dish, his famous stir-fried green beans, and a cake. Stunned, he recounted his reaction: “I looked at the list, looked at her, looked at the list again, and said no.” He rightly pointed out that they were essentially asking him to cater the entire event.

The excuse for the other guests’ failure to contribute? A vague “life came up.” When he suggested they could simply buy dishes from a restaurant, his own wife argued that he had “all day to prepare” anyway. The sheer audacity is something to behold.

The Internet Reacts

The internet was overwhelmingly on the man’s side, with many expressing absolute fury at his family’s entitlement. This group formed the “Absolutely Not” crowd, who felt he was being completely taken advantage of.

One commenter captured the general sentiment perfectly: “Other people’s failure to plan does not constitute an emergency on your part.” Many were stunned that he was asked to cook two turkeys in the first place, a massive undertaking for a guest. Another user noted, “Expecting someone else to cook 2 turkeys, is a lot of maneuvering… I thought you were a saint just doing that.”

While there was little sympathy for the in-laws, a few people in the “Devil’s Advocate” camp tried to see the situation from a different angle, especially after the man posted an update. He explained he decided to compromise, agreeing to make the pot roast in addition to the turkeys, while his wife bought prepared sides. He did this because his in-laws are older, not very mobile, and live on a strict budget.

One commenter saw this not as weakness, but as grace, calling his actions “really admirable” and noting he “probably doesn’t want to ruin Thanksgiving for them.” This camp saw his decision as a kind gesture to keep the peace during a cherished holiday.

However, many more were in the “Petty Revenge” camp, believing he should have stood his ground. They were particularly upset by his update, feeling he had been manipulated. “OP should have stuck to his guns. I would never host again EVER if I were him,” one person declared.

Others offered a taste of the family’s own medicine. One user suggested he should simply call and say, “life came up and you can only make the turkeys after all. That’s life, what can you do.” Another even joked, “I wouldn’t even go, I’d keep all the turkey.”

The Etiquette Verdict

Let’s be perfectly clear: this behavior is not acceptable in polite society. The entire point of a potluck is to distribute the labor and cost. It is incredibly rude to ask one guest, at the eleventh hour, to shoulder the responsibility for multiple other guests who have backed out.

The hosts are ultimately responsible for ensuring there is enough food. If guests cancel, the hosts should be the ones to cook more or purchase replacements, not delegate the entire affair to another guest who is already contributing the main course. A guest is a guest, not an on-call caterer.

Your Thoughts

This story certainly divides people on the best way to handle family drama. So, what do you think? Was the husband a peacemaker for compromising, or was he a pushover for letting his family take advantage of his kindness?