My Roommate Hid His Drinking Problem Until After We Moved In, Then Asked Me To Get Rid Of My Liquor Cabinet

When you decide to share a home with someone, there’s an unwritten rule that you discuss the important things first. Things like cleanliness, overnight guests, and how you’ll split the bills are all fair game. It’s about mutual respect and setting expectations.

However, one man recently shared a story online that shows what happens when a crucial piece of information is left out, creating a terribly awkward and unfair situation for everyone involved.

The Incident

A man, let’s call him Mark, recently moved into an apartment with a new roommate for a six-month lease. Before signing on the dotted line, they had the usual chat. The roommate asked Mark if he was a “serious drinker.” Mark, thinking of wild parties and late-night noise, said, “Oh, not serious at all.” He figured his new roommate had simply dealt with a rowdy housemate in the past.

After moving in, Mark began to set up his home as anyone would. He stocked a small liquor cabinet with a few nice bottles—gifts and items he’d use for cooking or the rare cocktail. He also enjoys a single glass of wine with his dinner to unwind after a long day. It’s a quiet, civilized habit many of us share.

But he noticed his roommate seemed uncomfortable. After a few weeks of odd tension, the roommate finally dropped a bombshell. He confessed, “I don’t tell many people this but I have a drinking problem, I haven’t touched a drink in 6 years, but every day is still an active choice.”

He then made a staggering request: he asked Mark to remove all the alcohol from the apartment they shared, even offering to pay for a storage unit. Mark was floored. He wanted to be supportive, but he felt that this was an accommodation that should have been discussed from the very beginning, not imposed after the fact.

The Internet Reacts

When Mark shared his dilemma, the internet had plenty to say, and people quickly fell into a few distinct camps. It was clear this situation struck a nerve about fairness and personal responsibility.

First, there was the “Absolutely Not” crowd. These commenters were firmly on Mark’s side, arguing that the roommate created this problem with his lack of honesty. One person put it perfectly: “There’s a big difference between asking ‘Are you a serious drinker,’ and ‘Do you intend to have alcohol at all.’ He needed to communicate that at the outset.”

Another was even more direct, stating, “This guy misrepresented himself when they moved in… Pressuring OP to change his lifestyle after the fact is wrong.” For this group, the roommate’s failure to be upfront was a serious misstep.

Then came the “Devil’s Advocate” group, who felt this was a case of simple miscommunication on both sides. They argued that Mark may have unintentionally misled his roommate. One commenter noted, “You told your roommate that you drink occasionally. No matter how you slice it, every single day is not occasionally.”

Others pointed out that to a recovering alcoholic, a daily glass of wine might indeed seem like “serious” drinking. This camp didn’t necessarily blame Mark, but they believed his definition of casual drinking was very different from what his roommate likely imagined.

Finally, there was the “Compassionate Compromise” camp. These folks looked past the blame and focused on the serious reality of the situation. One person, whose brother is an alcoholic, offered a chilling warning: “YOU DO NOT WANT TO LIVE WITH AN ALCOHOLIC WHEN THEY ARE RELAPSING.” They urged Mark to take the request seriously for his own sake as well as his roommate’s. Many suggested the simple solution Mark was already considering: move the alcohol into his private room, out of sight and out of mind. This, they argued, was a reasonable middle ground that respected both individuals.

The Etiquette Verdict

Let’s be clear: while we should have immense compassion for someone battling addiction, that struggle does not give them a license to control their roommate’s life after the fact. The roommate put Mark in an impossible position by not being honest about his needs from day one.

An alcohol-free home is a major, non-negotiable requirement that absolutely must be discussed before any lease is signed. To ask someone to fundamentally change their quiet, in-home habits weeks into an agreement is unfair. The golden rule of shared living is transparency, and that rule was broken here.

Your Thoughts

This is a delicate situation with no easy answers. It’s a clash between one person’s right to enjoy their home and another’s battle for their health. So, what do you think?

Was the roommate’s request an unfair burden, or should the homeowner have accommodated him without question?