My Son Saw I Bought Salmon For His Ex And Children, Then Demanded I Spend The Same On Him
It’s a classic rule of etiquette: you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. When someone is kind enough to do you a favor, whether it’s cooking a meal or picking up a few things from the store, the proper response is a simple and sincere “thank you.” You certainly don’t start auditing their receipts and demanding they spend more on you.
However, one woman recently took to the internet to share a story that proves not everyone understands this basic principle of gratitude, especially when it’s their own mother doing the giving.
The Incident
A caring mother and grandmother found herself in a baffling situation with her 35-year-old son, who currently lives with her. For years, she had nurtured a close, daughter-like relationship with her son’s girlfriend, Kira. This bond was something her son had always encouraged.
Even after the couple split up last year, while Kira was pregnant with their second child, this grandmother refused to abandon her. Her son, on the other hand, “decided he didn’t want anything to do with Kira or the kids.”
Despite her son’s shocking decision to abandon his family, the grandmother stood firm. She continued to be a loving presence in her grandchildren’s lives, and a support for Kira. Part of her routine involves doing the weekly grocery shopping. She gets what she needs, picks up the pre-packaged items her son requests, and always brings some fresh, healthy food for Kira and the boys.
The trouble started over a piece of salmon. The grandmother bought a large fillet, sharing a portion with Kira and her grandsons, who love fish. Her own son, who dislikes fish, saw the grocery receipt and became irate over the cost.
When she explained, he “blew up and demanded I stop buying her groceries or if I continue he wants the same amount spent on him.” This, from a grown man whose mother buys him everything he asks for, from pizza pockets to other ready-made meals, and who refuses to eat the organic produce she buys for herself and his children.
The Internet Reacts
The online community was overwhelmingly on the grandmother’s side, and commentators quickly sorted themselves into a few distinct camps.
First was the “Absolutely Not” Crowd. These readers were furious on the grandmother’s behalf, shocked by the son’s audacity. One person put it bluntly: “Your son is totally taking advantage of you and has no say whatsoever as to how you spend your money or time.”
Another chimed in, “He should be freaking ashamed for acting like this… who the hell is he to say you need to spend the same amount on him? I bet he doesnt even pay you rent.” The consensus was clear: the son was an entitled freeloader with no right to make demands.
The next group could be called the “Tough Love” Camp. While they sympathized with the grandmother, they felt she was partially responsible for her son’s behavior. They argued that by providing him with a comfortable life free of charge, she was enabling his irresponsibility. One commenter didn’t mince words: “You really need to stop babying him… Stop cooking for him. Stop shopping for him. Stop enabling him to be a selfish leech.”
Another added, “You aren’t staying out of it, though. He doesn’t do anything because he doesn’t need to. He has a place to live and a live-in cook, so why should he try to do better?”
Finally, there was the “Petty Revenge” Crowd, who offered a rather dramatic but popular solution. Their advice was simple and unanimous: it was time for a change in living arrangements. The most popular suggestion was, “I’d kick his a.. out and ask Kira and the kids to move in.”
This idea gained tremendous support, with dozens of people rallying behind “Team Adopt Kira.” As one user pointed out, inviting Kira and the children to live with her would solve multiple problems at once: “OP would still have people in the house and wouldn’t be lonely… Kira would be far more helpful than her son when it comes to helping around the house.”
The Etiquette Verdict
Let’s be perfectly clear. A 35-year-old man who lives in his mother’s home, eats food she buys and cooks, and has abandoned his own children has absolutely zero standing to complain about how she spends her own money. His demand for “equal” spending is not just rude; it’s a staggering display of selfishness and entitlement.
He is comparing his desire for more frozen snacks to his own children’s need for nutritious food. The fundamental rule here is one of respect and responsibility. He is failing to show his mother respect and, more importantly, failing to take responsibility for his own life and his own children.
Your Thoughts
This situation is certainly heartbreaking for the grandmother caught in the middle. What do you think is the right path forward for her? Should this mother give her son an ultimatum to grow up, or is it better to swap him out for her deserving grandchildren?
